"The Infamous Critterwhackers"
Humorous Hunting Stories
No Fear
A man who lives with danger! Johnny Green makes James Bond look like a mere child! Johnny has been known to get up in the middle of moonless nights and disregarding all fear,
move into the dense wilderness in search of his prey. He can move as silent as a bat with unerring accuracy to his favorite deer position in the dense trees long before dawn. Disregarding the creeping and crawling
denizens of the night, he awaits the first light. Suddenly as the eastern sky brightens he is aware of the huge cat in the tree above his head! Deer are the last thing on Johnny's mind as he bursts from
the trees and heads at breakneck speed back to the safety of his truck. A posse is soon formed and the huge cat is brought down—covered with quills! Forever Johnny will be known as the "Great White
Porcupine Killer"!
Marvelous Martin
Among the legends of critterwackers is Martin Cox who will be immortalized by his "Big twelve". The November days are sometimes known for being warmed by a winter sun that beats
down on West facing slopes and bluffs. Martin moved into his lucky blind to once again test his skill and fortune. The blind provided perfect cover and comfort as the afternoon sun moved slowly towards
the western horizon. Martin concentrated on his hunting area and in an instant he was acutely aware—movement—sound!! His hunting instincts were honed to a razor edge. The rifle fired and
the 12 was his! Scoring the trophy was to prove difficult as the 12 rattles were easy but how do you score the button? The Rattlesnake Man had become part of hunting lore!
The Sob Story award
The most plumb dab unlucky hunter title goes to Mark Kalkwarf for his episode with the Tennessee eight. The fall day was a blaze of color, as the hardwoods seemed to sense
that the leaves would soon be gone. Dogwoods were in flaming red and maples screamed out Tennessee orange. Mark entered the stand of golden hued oak with his bow: his face was camouflaged and he was
covered from head to toe in Realtree. He silently padded to his selected tree and ascended into the branches and foliage above. Mark has had many years of hunting experience that helped transform him into
the ultimate deer-killing machine. It was early in the warm afternoon, the skies were vivid blue and a warm gentle wind barely moved the multihued leaves. He was caught up in the rapture of the hunt and never
saw it coming. The eight point moved directly towards his very tree! Mark reached for his bow and mentally steeled himself for the shot. It would have been a great story if only he had thought to
pull his quiver up from the ground at the same time he had pulled up the bow!!!!
You won't believe this
Darren Sutherland enters the critterwackers hall of fame for the "it can never happen twice experience". Darren was in hot pursuit of a large ten point and had worked for days to
pattern the elusive deer. Mornings of icy wind, unrelenting mud and driving rain had been willingly borne without criticism or complaint. It was all about to pay off as the big buck moved unaware into the
clearing 350 yards way. Darren raised the rifle, calmed his pulse, let out a slow breath and gently squeezed the trigger. Click! Misfire! He quickly rechambered and once again "click". The
click occurred 2 more times as each round failed to fire. The deer moved back into cover. It seems as if Darren and Weatherby Ammo are destined to have a serious discussion!
How Can Lucky Lynn Strike Again?
After four years of deer hunting from Tennessee to Texas to Ohio, it has been decreed that the Luckiest deer hunter is Lynn Fields as he has terrorized the poor critters from east
to west. He and Kevin have hunted all over the country and Lynn seems to just draw the darned things! His track record to date is a 9 in the first year and a 10 in the second and an eleven in the 3rd and now in year four another whopper up in Ohio. He seems to draw bucks as well as most does in heat—in fact Kevin swears that he takes secret baths in the stuff every night during the entire season. We are of course checking with all his bedmates to determine the validity of this claim. He well deserves the title of Lucky Lynn!
|
Lucky Lynn strikes in Ohio
|
Lucky Lynn strikes in Texas |
|
|
