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I Remember This
By
Becky Goodrow
Supper was over and cleaned up. Stella wiped the last few crumbs off the kitchen cabinet as she gazed out of the window at the yellow-orange and pink sunset mirrored in the
rippling water of the Holston River. Two bluebirds, playfully in sync, darted over her rock garden hawking a few final succulent insects before nesting for the night. Stella rinsed out the dishrag, carefully
and neatly folded it across the sink and headed for the back porch. This was her favorite time of the day and she didn't want to fritter another second indoors. Like the bluebirds, she wanted to savor the
last daylight hour of this beautiful spring day before settling in for the evening. Time had a way of slipping through her fingers in the blink of an eye these days and she tried not to misspend any of it. She
focused on doing the things she loved and on remembering the things she used to love doing that her fragile body wouldn't allow her to do any more. She was feisty for her 87 years, but was keenly aware of
how her physical self seemed to be slowing down in direct proportion to how fast the passage of time seemed to accelerate.
Stella eased into her rocking chair and watched a fat squirrel leap from the
workshop roof onto a lower branch of the beech tree and scamper to his nest in the top-most branches. Her timeworn eyes didn't miss much and still twinkled with shades of amber and green like the East
Tennessee mountains and streams that she loved so dearly. She amused herself imagining that over the years the squirrels had probably inherited a genetic memory warning them not to tarry around this house or
these flowerbeds and marveled there were any squirrels left in the area that were brave enough to venture this close! Desi had seen to that! Desi had spent many years keeping his marksmanship honed for deer hunting
season by occasionally providing their supper table with a pot of savory squirrel stew. Stella chuckled as she recalled how she used to turn up her nose at the mention of dining on squirrel—until she came into
the house one afternoon long ago, and the aroma of something warm and wonderful coming from the kitchen titillated her nostrils and made her salivate. There Desi stood stirring a bubbling pot of stew, full of big
chunks of carrots, potatoes, onions and some sort of tender-looking meat.
"Hi, Pookey!" he said, with his typical cheery exuberance and dancing blue eyes. "Wanna taste my squirrel
stew?" "Oh, good Lord," thought Stella, "how am I going to put that in my mouth and swallow it?" But the synthesis of the aroma wafting from the pot and Desi's enthusiasm worked its
magic and she could feel her reluctance to try his offering dissolve. "Come on, Pookey, just try one bite," he pleaded as he lifted the spoonful of stew over his cupped palm, gently blowing it and moving
it toward her.
His term of endearment for her made her giggle. The nickname was so silly that it made her grin every time he called her that. He was a master at provoking her mirth. Stella knew deep
down that she created her own happiness with her outlook on life, but she also knew that making a woman laugh ranked right up there with "romancing" when it came to enhancing that joy, and Desi was good at
both. With spontaneity and perfect timing, he would say something funny or just the right thing to charm her heart. They would tromp through the woods together and when Stella didn't think she could muster
one more step, he might pick a wildflower and place it in her hair…and suddenly her steps were lighter. When she least expected it, and to her delight, a box of her favorite dark chocolates might suddenly
appear in the mail addressed to "Stellaluna." Any man could romance his lady while they were courting. She knew it took someone really special to keep thinking of all the little things to keep romance
alive after years of marriage.
As Stella's resistance melted, she closed her eyes, opened her mouth and Desi slipped in the morsels of juicy vegetables and tender meat moistened with gravy. Cautiously
and deliberately she chewed his proud creation and a slow smile began to lift the corners of her mouth. Her former look of trepidation faded into an expression of glee. "Mmmmmm," she purred, "I hate
to admit it, but that is deeee—licious!" And so he won her over, as he had done many times before with various other delectable game dishes—venison, grouse, pheasant, wild turkey, quail, rabbit
and many varieties of fresh fish. Stella was learning to appreciate the bounties that Nature provided and the coexistence and balance of ethical hunting, so little by little Desi initiated her to countless
adventures of the wild. Ironically, she wasn't a big meat eater but, when her primordial carnivorous impulses infrequently emerged, one of Desi's delicacies was what she always craved. His culinary
talent complemented his passion for hunting and fishing, which was a good thing because Stella knew nothing about cooking game. However, her macaroni and cheese and apple pie rivaled the best. Desi especially loved
her apple pie, but would insist, as he scarffed down a big piece, that the pie wasn't quite perfect, and so she needed to keep trying. To his merriment, Stella played along and kept striving for that
"perfect apple pie".
The coolness of the delicate evening breeze caressed Stella while she rocked and listened to the dusky silence surround her and fall across the nearby river and distant
mountains. She loved the peace that enveloped her as the day gently yielded and allowed room for stars and night sounds and rest. Closing her eyes and cradling her silver-white head on the back of the
rocking chair, Stella's mind drifted back to her courtship with Desi. Adventures. There were myriad in their years together, especially in those courting days.
Knowing that Stella reveled in the
out-of-doors and possessed a deep appreciation for nature, Desi very creatively included her in some of his hunting and fishing expeditions. He was eager to share the activities that he loved and made him feel
alive, so he thoughtfully invented ways to acquaint her with his passion. In a sense, he was testing the waters. Aware that he was falling in love with her, he knew it could be difficult living with someone who
didn't at least have a respect for his favorite pastime, if not a desire to actively participate. He also knew he must afford her that same respect.
So, carefully, Desi did not overwhelm Stella with
those early outings or expect her to go along "like one of the guys" but made the sallies fun for her. There would be plenty of other occasions when he could hunt or fish alone or with his buddies and
could do it all his way. Stella knew all that…and she adored him for it.
Oh, they had their differences. In many ways Desi and Stella were exact opposites. They were the kind of
dissimilarities that come with having unique personalities or that come with the diverse ways that a man and woman think and respond. But the two shared one heart and neither could stand for the alterity to
come between them for long. They also shared the heartbeat of Mother Nature and discovered this common rhythm the first time Desi took Stella "hunting".
Stella rocked and the smile lines of her
eyes crinkled deeper as she reminisced about that first hunt so long ago. "How would you like to go on a boar hunt?" Desi invited. "A what?" Stella exclaimed, not entirely sure she had heard
him correctly. "A wild boar hunt!" Desi repeated. Stella's mind raced. "You are kidding, right?" she laughed. "Nope." He chuckled. If there was one thing
that Stella had more of than a love for adventure, it was curiosity! Desi had her hooked!
Even though Stella was not, by nature, an early morning person, there were some things worth the prodigious effort of
rising before dawn to an inky October sky. She showered the night before and laid out her "tromping" clothes. When the alarm rang, although she arose with sleepy eyes, a feeling of excitement and
anticipation also arose when she remembered, through her drowsy haze, why she was staggering across the room at 4:00 am.
By the time Desi came to call for her at 4:30 sharp as he had promised, she had
brushed her teeth, washed her face, dressed and was wolfing down some toast and honey. In the process of fully waking, she had become ready, willing and eager. An hour later they arrived at their point of entry into
the Smokey Mountain forest. Desi, armed with his rifle and a flashlight, took Stella's hand and led her into the pitchy woods guided only by a thin beam of light, his instincts and, no doubt, a guardian
angel or two.
Rain earlier in the night had made the carpet of leaves very slick and as the slow drizzle continued, Stella began to slip and slide comically down the mountain…on her rear almost as much
as on her wobbly feet! Regardless of Desi's instructions to be quiet, both giggled and laughed like a couple of kids as Stella desperately clung to branches and reached for Desi's outstretched hand to
keep from tumbling down the mountain into the lake below. One minute she was wondering what on earth she had gotten herself into and the next she knew she was having the time of her life!
As they made their
way up and down the steep mountain slopes, daybreak crept through the trees dimly illuminating their path. Desi finally found a cozy natural blind in one of the vales where they could wait for a wild boar to come
by. They snuggled together in their hideaway watching sparkling raindrops cling to the rusty, red-orange leaves and slowly drip onto the woodland floor. The dank odor of the earth was strangely pleasant and
exhilarating and only the awareness of their breath and the cawing of a crow broke the silence. The magic of a perfect moment erased time and evoked a memory within Stella that transcended past and future.
In her ecstasy, Stella turned to smile at Desi and, from her peripheral vision, became aware of an august presence standing in the mist on the mountainside behind them. Gazing motionless directly at them
was a majestic white-tailed buck. Stella gasped and whispered, "Look!" As Desi pivoted to see the wondrous creature, the vigilant deer instantly vanished into the fog leaving the couple in awe and
poignantly aware of their good fortune.
In the distance they could hear faint hound dog yowls. Desi told Stella that meant other hunters were on the trail of a boar and suggested they wait to see
if the dogs and hunters chased the beast within their sight. The yowls and yelps got louder and louder and Stella's heart began to pound! Sitting still was almost more than she could manage when they
realized the sounds were coming their way. Sure enough, emerging from the vapory landscape, not 20 yards from them, a frantic, vicious-looking, tusked, piceous, hairy, feral pig ran right past with several
frenzied howling hounds on its tail and two other hunters not far behind. Stella realized that was as close as she wanted to come to one of those ugly "critters" and was thankful it was now headed in
the opposite direction! They didn't see any more boars, or bucks either, for that matter, but Stella and Desi knew that morning was the dayspring of a bond as profound and strong as the Spirit of the Great
Outdoors. Driving home, they were both quiet, enjoying the afterglow. Desi enfolded his hand over Stella's. "I remember this," he said softly. Stella had passed the test…and so had
Desi.
So many adventures…a kaleidoscope of pleasurable memories washed through Stella's mind. She didn't notice that the sun had finally set. Then, out of the deep dusk, she heard a warm
familiar voice whisper, "Pookey"…Her heart leapt and her old eyes strained to see. She blinked and there, in the hazy darkness, stood Desi holding out his arms to her. "Desi, oh
Desi"…her voice caught in her throat as tears welled. "I've missed you so." With absolute joy she clasped his outstretched hands and the weight of her stiff old body evaporated as she
floated across the porch and into the wondrously luminous night with her beloved partner. "Stella," Desi said tenderly as he gently embraced her, "it's time for your most exciting adventure of
all!"
The next morning a friend and neighbor found Stella…in her rocker…with a peaceful smile still on her face…
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